you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
