My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
