i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
