He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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