Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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