why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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