Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
