"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
