I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
