found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
