are you still at the devil's house?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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