can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
