I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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