WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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