he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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