Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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