No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
