Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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