i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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