if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize