my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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