I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
