He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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