yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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