Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
