I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
