i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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