she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize