I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
