you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
