ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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