She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize