Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
