every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
