dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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