soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
