explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
