He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
