That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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