on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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