Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
