how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
