I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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