Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
