You're my little dorito
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
