Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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