Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize