I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
