Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
