Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize