I am puke
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
