Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
