I must be too annoying 4 u.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Randomize
