i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize