i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
