You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
