I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize