i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
