Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
