he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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