I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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